Q:I have been in a relationship for the past eight years. We have been living together for about the last 4 years. I feel like I really love this person, but he says that he doesn't love me the way I love him. We have just separated. We had gotten to where we were not spending much time together - just eating and sleeping. Is there anything that I can do to get him back? Will coaching or counseling help if we are not married?
A:I'll answer your second question first. Yes coaching/counseling does help when you are a couple, in whatever form you are a couple.
Now on to your second question. I don't know if there is anything you can do to get him back, and even if there was, my question would be why do you want him back?
You have been together 8 years, 4 of them living together. I'm guessing you both have been exclusive. The problem is you have come at this with a committed attitude and he has not been committed, by virtue of his statement that he does not love you the way you love him.
That is guy talk for 'I am not committed to you and this relationship." You might want to look at this
as the separation being your release to go and find someone that will love you in the same way you love him.
Remember, it only takes one.
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